As one who has been exposed to thousands of profiles and their effectiveness, or lack thereof, I can tell you that your most important ally and challenge is clarity. Clarity about who you are. Clarity about what matters most. Clarity about what you require in a mate. Clarity about what you need in a relationship.

The first thing I do with my coaching clients is thoroughly interview them. This "brainstorming process," through which I get to learn all about them, also gets them clear on the above questions. Sometimes when I'm interviewing clients, asking them questions about the inner-selves causes them to dig so deep that there are looooong pauses. When this happens, I know that this process is very necessary! Most people don't ask themselves these kinds of probing questions about what matters most.

What kinds of questions do I pose to my clients? Here are a few shining examples of questions for which every single person - including myself, as an Internet dater - should have ready answers:

• What do you stand for?
• What do you believe in?
• What is unique about you?
• What are you most passionate about?
• What are you most curious about in life?
• What would your ideal mate find compelling about you?
• What are your “Must Haves” in a mate?
• What are your “Can’t Stands” in a mate?
• In your ideal relationship... what kind of lifestyle would you share?
• What kind of legacy do you want to leave?

Melanie Dodson has been successfully coaching Internet daters, full-time, for two years. Visit her online at www.TheInternetDatingCoach.com or contact her at Melanie@TheInternetDatingCoach.com.